“Feelings of resistance do not reveal the nature of the things we resist. They reveal the nature of our blinders and the limits of our understanding.”

- Edward Phelps

More than ever, we want change.

The rulers of our world are making changes that a majority of us don’t agree with. But we are responding using the same ineffective tactics. And we are frustrated.

We must go deeper to make lasting change possible.

We must go deeper to break the conditioning we are locked into.

We must go deeper to stop playing the “Who’s right?” game.

We must go deeper to learn to play a different game...

We can learn to play the “Making Life Wonderful” game.

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is how we can learn to see the game we’re playing now, change it and start playing a new game.

Nonviolent Communication was developed over the last 50 years by American PhD psychologist Marshall Rosenberg. Nonviolent Communication is a practice that helps us create power with people rather than power over people. In this video Marshall Rosenberg outlines his Nonviolent Communication framework.

The purpose of Nonviolent Communication is to help us connect in a way that makes “natural giving” possible.

Nonviolent Communication is how we can break free of our conditioning and come together to create a new world free of the mass violence and suffering we all endure.

Nonviolent Communication is the foundation for how we change.

Enjoy!

P.S. Here’s another video introduction to Nonviolent Communication...

“Be authentic.”

I see this phrase a lot.

The core basis of this statement means that whatever “authentic” is: a) you are not authentic now—and; b) you want to become authentic (at some future date/time).

What are we really saying?

Whenever someone talks about “being authentic,” I think what are they being now?

This is a similar to when people start their response to a question with “Honestly,...” Whenever someone says that I ask myself ‘If they’re about to be honest with what they say next, how much of what they’ve told me before is true?’

Both of these are acknowledgements that our default behavior is to mask our true intentions. We do what we feel we have to do to acquire what we want, and to fit into circumstances we frequently encounter (that we would otherwise avoid).

Define Authentic

If by “authentic” we mean being who you are, then the question is:

“is it possible for you to not be who you are?”Can you be anything other than who you are? Is that possible?

The answer is no.

I propose that what we mean by “be authentic” is to stop the pretending we do in certain circumstances to fit in and avoid rejection. To share our true intentions—so others may know and contribute to our fulfillment of them.

To openly share our intentions in any moment is to act with integrity. But it also makes us vulnerable.

Anyone can use our truth against us. And in our current culture people generally do use what they know about us to their advantage. In fact, we are deeply conditioned to do that. So, we take care not to be vulnerable. Which ultimately means we are not “authentic.”

Integrity or being “authentic” requires full participation by others. Anyone is free to prioritize their own personal interest over ours, or our groups. This is both the power and the peril of authenticity.

The current dictionary definition of the english language word ‘ambition’ reads: “a strong desire to do or to achieve something.”

In any moment when we are free of any desires, we are able to experience what is happening clearly and without conflict.

We are not judging what is to be good, bad, right, or wrong.

We are simply present with what is.

When we choose ambition, whatever it is that is presently happening, or whatever we are doing in the present moment, changes.

Our focus shifts to doing or achieving our ambition. Our focus shifts to accomplishing a goal.

Can you see this?

In any moment, when we have a goal we transform the universe of infinite possibility into a universe of just two possibilities... achieving our goal or not achieving it.

Can you see this?

Let’s clarify. Without a goal we see whatever happens free of judgement. When we have a goal we see whatever happens through a lens of did we achieve our goal or not?

Can you see this?

When we have a goal we make the universe into a competition, a win or lose set of conditions.

Put another way... when we have a goal we create conflict by dividing what is into two opposing states — 1) we achieve our goal; or 2) we do not achieve our goal.

Can you see this?

This is not good, bad, right, or wrong.

It is practical for anyone seeking to be compassionate in their actions to have awareness of this law of our universe.

Can you see this?

When you really “have it together” you:

→ Do things your way. - Knowing that your way is your unique gift to the world.
→ Care for the needs of others. - Aware that kind of care fulfills your needs also.
→ Share your desires. - So others can know them and choose to support them.
→ Accept what is. - And don’t take things personally.

Compassionate living makes us vulnerable and interdependent upon one another. On the other hand, it opens us up to be uplifted and enriched by others.

We each have the power to be compassionate.

That power is not accessible when we choose to act out of fear and self-interest.

J. Krishnamurti explores the question “Is there security?”

“Thought tries to find security in the things it has created.”

“Thought can never solve human problems.”

“In that desire to be secure, we create all kinds of illusions.”

“Thought seeks security in authority.”

Enjoy!

J. Krishnamurti conducts an examination of the question “What are we seeking?”

Enjoy!

Happiness is a feeling. And feelings change in response to conditions and circumstances.

Peace is a state of mind that we can learn and maintain.

Peace is free of judgments. Peace can be present no matter what conditions and circumstances we experience.

Practice Peace.

“It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.”

- Byron Katie

All suffering is caused by a mental misalignment. You suffer whenever you believe in your thinking and whatever you are thinking about does not align with what is. To put it another way... you suffer when what you believe “should be” happening, or what you “want to be” happening are different from what is happening.

This mental misalignment is natural because what you think about what is happening around you is not what is happening around you. Can you see this? For example, right now you are reading this blog post. And while you are reading this you may be thinking “what a terrific and meaningful lesson the message in this blog post is, and how transformative it is in your life.” Can you see the difference between what is happening – which is that you are reading this blog post, and what you are thinking about? They are not the same. Can you see this?

When you think things like, “You need to get a job,” “I want you to be happy,” “You should be on time,” “You need to take better care of yourself,” you are separating yourself from what is. And you do this simply by attaching to your thinking. Let‘s break each of these thoughts down. When you think “You need to get a job” about someone, you have separated yourself from the present reality that they do not have a job at this time. Can you see this? When you think “I want you to be happy”about someone, you have separated yourself from the present reality that they are not happy now. When you think “You should be on time”about someone, you have separated yourself from the present reality that they are not on time right now. Can you see this? When you think “You need to take better care of yourself” about someone, you have separated yourself from the present reality that they are not caring for themselves right now. Can you see this? This shows the awesome power thinking has over your life, and how attachment to your thinking can create intense suffering and conflict in your life.

Byron Katie offers an effective practice for discovering and unlocking the powerful grip our thinking has over us in her book “Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life.”

Here are some of what I believe to be meaningful and useful excerpts:

“Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business. When I think, “You need to get a job,” “I want you to be happy,” “You should be on time,” “You need to take better care of yourself,” I am in your business. When I’m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God’s business. If I am mentally in your business or in God’s business, the effect is separation. I noticed this early in 1986. When I mentally went into my mother’s business, for example, with a thought like “My mother should understand me,” I immediately experienced a feeling of loneliness. And I realized that every time in my life I had felt hurt or lonely, I had been in someone else’s business.

If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We’re both over there. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own. I am separate from myself, wondering why my life doesn’t work.

To think that I know what’s best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear. Do I know what’s right for me? That is my only business. Let me work with that before I try to solve your problems for you.

If you understand the three kinds of business enough to stay in your own business, it can free your life in a way you can’t even imagine. The next time you’re feeling stress or discomfort, ask yourself whose business you’re in mentally...”

Thinking creates the stories of our life. The trick is to be aware of, and be with your thinking, but to not define yourself by your thinking.

The following is written by Jiddu Krishnamurti, taken from BULLETIN 6, 1970

…the centre says to itself: how am I to be free, free to live happily, completely, openly, and act without sorrow or remorse? But it is still the centre asking the question. The centre is the past. The centre is the ‘me’ with its selfish activities which knows action only in terms of reward and punishment, achievement or failure, and its motives, causes and effects. It is caught in this chain and the chain is the centre and the prison.

There is another action which comes when there is a space without a centre, a dimension in which there is no cause and effect. From this, living is action. Here, having no centre, whatever is done is free, joyous, without pain or pleasure. This space and freedom is not a result of effort and achievement, but when the centre ends the other is.

But we will ask how can the centre end, what am I to do to end it, what disciplines, what sacrifices, what great efforts am I to make? None. Only see without choice the activities of the centre, not as an observer, not as an outsider looking inward, but just observe without the censor. Then you may say: I cannot do it, I am always looking with the eyes of the past. Be aware, then, of looking with the eyes of the past, and remain with that. Don’t try to do anything about it; be simple and know that whatever you try to do will only strengthen the centre and is a response of your own desire to escape.

So there is no escape, no effort and no despair. Then you can see the full meaning of the centre and the immense danger of it, and that is enough.

Join J Krishnamurti in taking a deep look into the nature of Authority, why we accept it, what it means to our personal freedom, and more.

This meditation is a striking examination of the extent to which we surrender our own power so easily every day.

Key Observations

Coming soon...

J. Krishnamurti inquires into the nature and affects of attachment in this video. Below the video I present some key points for your own inquiry.

You are attached. Each of us has chosen an assortment of attachments that dominate our lives.

Are you aware of your attachments?
Are you aware of the consequences of your attachments?

Two types of attachments are conclusions and beliefs.

In attachment there is always fear, anxiety, suspicion. That fear produces pain. For example, a man is attached to his wife. He fears she might run away; she might look at another man/woman; or she might die. When  you are attached there is no love because in any attachment there is fear. Fear is not love, and love cannot be present where there is fear. Can you see this?

The ambitious person is attached (to their ambitions) and has no love. She/He is concerned with their own personal achievement, their gathering of position, power, and prestige. This strong self-interest is not love and has no compassion. Can you see this?

Compassion cannot exist where there is attachment. There is no compassion in religion, in Christianity, in Islam, in Judaism. There is no compassion in being a Democrat or a Republican, a Conservative or a Liberal, a Capitalist or a Socialist. There is in fact intense fear, conflict, and violence associated with all religions and political attachments. Surely you can see the evidence of this?