Myths About Memory

A dictionary definition of memory is “the faculty by which the mind stores and remembers information”.  Faculty is defined as "an inherent mental or physical power". Mental is defined as "carried out by or taking place in the mind". And Mind is defined as "a person's mental processes contrasted with physical action".

So, a memory is an idea you have in your mind. Which means a memory does not exist in what we call “reality”.

Here are some observations about memory that are useful in helping to see things as they are – free of the stories you have about them based on your memories.

What you remember about a person, event, or thing IS NOT that person, event, or thing.

This sounds obvious. Yet our habit is to hold onto what we remember about a person or thing, and use that memory to make judgments about that person or thing. Example: someone says something nice to you, or does something nice for you and you remember that. The next time you see that person you feel happy about seeing them.

A person is who they are. A person is not what you remember them to be, or who you “think” they are.

An event you remember happening already happened in the past, and is not happening now, in the present.

A thing is what it is. A thing is not your memory of the thing.

What you remember about a person, event, or thing IS a story you made up about that person, event, or thing. “Memory” is a word we use to describe the story we have made up.

Let’s say I walk up to you and hug you right now. What you think, feel, or remember about my “walking up to you and hugging you” is different from the event itself. What you think, feel, or remember is what you think, feel, or remember.