A dictionary definition of memory is “the faculty by which the mind stores and remembers information”. Faculty is defined as "an inherent mental or physical power". Mental is defined as "carried out by or taking place in the mind". And Mind is defined as "a person's mental processes contrasted with physical action".
So, a memory is an idea you have in your mind. Which means a memory does not exist in what we call “reality”.
Here are some observations about memory that are useful in helping to see things as they are – free of the stories you have about them based on your memories.
What you remember about a person, event, or thing IS NOT that person, event, or thing.
This sounds obvious. Yet our habit is to hold onto what we remember about a person or thing, and use that memory to make judgments about that person or thing. Example: someone says something nice to you, or does something nice for you and you remember that. The next time you see that person you feel happy about seeing them.